Oh hello there. No, no, I’m just exploring, thanks — quite content to be left to my own devices. Of course, I shall beckon if I need any help.
Well actually, sir, before you turn to leave, maybe you can be of some assistance. I suppose you’re right — why fly blindly through such a large store when I can just as easily appeal to your experience and intellect.
Tell me please, what new and exciting video game boxes can you recommend? Yes, that’s right, I wish to leave here today with one or two very enjoyable boxes.
For which “system”, you ask? I’m not sure what you mean. An Xbox? No, I certainly don’t have one of those. A PS3 — from what dimension does that hail? A Nintenko Wii? Gamecubes? A PSP? No, no, no….I do not have any of those things. Why, sir, the only “console” I have is right here, between the ears and behind my pearly blues.
You seem confused. Ah, I think I know what’s going on, and I pity you, my friend. You are so encumbered — enslaved really — by modern devices, you’ve completely lost the ability to use the most powerful gaming system of all.
OK, then why don’t you let me show you. Hmmm…here…this looks like an exciting box, good as any to begin with. Yes, go ahead and grab that one off the shelf.
Now tell me what you see.
An alien creature? Yikes! What else? A giant spaceship, you say? How exciting. Is it a warship or a craft of exploration? No doubt it’s hurtling through the infinite abyss at impossible speeds. How delightful. What else? Oh my — a planet housing a long forgotten civilization? I’m already getting chills. An endlessly explorable universe with upgradeable weapons and the latest in computer graphics? No, no, no, son, how can such things impress you? Ah, of course, you have yet to discover how many gigaflops your imagination has.
Oh, now how about this one. Yes, grab that box. What do you see this time? A wizard surrounded by blue flame casting an incantation? Wonderful. Orcish-creatures brandishing huge rapiers and ghastly looking tools of destruction while heroic knights guard the castle! Ha ha! Brilliant.
Chose from over 20 character models? Tsk, tsk. I’m sorry to shake my head at you; I don’t mean to condescend. But why limit yourself to 20, my friend? Why not limit yourself to infinity.
Try this. Close your eyes. Go ahead; trust me. That’s it, close them tight.
LOOK OUT, MY FRIEND! My soul, that creature nearly took your head off. But I slayed it just in time. You must be more cautious, my Lord. Ah, look at you — a dashing young Earl ordered to protect the King and uphold goodness and peace in the realm. As for me, I seem to have donned the robes of the King’s sage. No doubt with this towering staff I can cast enchantments ten times as powerful as that mage on the box.
Did you hear that? Yes, a scream. But where did it come from? There it is again and this time I’m sure it came from there: the Forbidden Forest. We must throw caution to the wind if we wish to get there as soon as possible and rescue the lass. How, you ask? Why isn’t it obvious? Atop the backs of these majestic stallions. Where did they come from? Haven’t you figured it out by now?
Yes, exactly.
Oh, you have to go now? OK, no problem. I think I’ve decided on my purchases anyway. I’m off to the bookstore next. Oh no, I can’t read, I’m just meeting a friend there.
Yes, you guessed right: My friend is indeed an imaginary one. And oddly enough, he looks exactly like you.
