In a revelation seemingly tailor-made to the advantage of his political opponents, it was discovered today that Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama is paid by the word.
“We have argued consistently throughout this campaign season that Senator Obama’s appeal is based entirely on his glittering oratory,” said Senators Hillary Clinton and John McCain in a joint statement released today. “Finally, the American people are getting some answers as to why this one man would take up so much of our valuable time with his pompous blustering.”
Similarly, New York Times columnist David Brooks will write in tomorrow’s edition, “It has always been curious why the senator takes at least fifteen minutes of my day simply to say, in effect, ‘the American spirit is great, so let’s all be reasonable and try to fix stuff.’”
Many political insiders say that their suspicions about Senator Obama’s salary arrangements were heightened following his purchase of 30 minutes of prime-time television coverage one week before November’s election and the recent appearance of an all-Obama satellite television network.
The confirmation of Senator Obama’s pay package came in a statement today from Howard Dean, Democratic National Committee chair, following its discovery by investigative journalist Tom Berleski. “Senator Obama, when he agreed to accept our nomination, demanded a pay package competitive with those available in the private sector. To secure his position with our organization, we offered the senator a very reasonable $30 per word.”
Senator Obama’s campaign declined to comment for this story, announcing instead that their candidate will be making a statement on the issue tomorrow from 11:00 am to 3:00 pm, EDT.
