The Society of Highway Aware Men launched a scathing attack Monday on “Life is a Highway” singer Tom Cochrane, decrying the singer’s cavalier attitude to long-distance driving.
Said Society President Mervyn Travers, “In encouraging followers to drive from Mozambique to Memphis and from the Khyber Pass to Vancouver in a single, unending night, Cochrane encourages not only defying the laws of physics, given that these locations are on continents separated by oceans, but also travel through extremely dangerous areas.”
“The Khyber Pass, for example, is an area more suited to jihadist fanatics trafficking AK-47s than responsible highway enthusiasts,” Travers continued. “And I shouldn’t even need to comment on Cochrane’s bald-faced attempt to have all his devotees drive from dusk to dawn without a break, despite all reputable experts recommending 15 to 20 minutes of rest for every 2 hours of highway driving.”
“To be blunt, Cochrane’s whole approach to highway travel is flat-out treacherous to other drivers and thus really quite selfish,” Travers concluded.
“Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme,” rebutted Cochrane when reached for comment by this reporter.
